Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
