apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
