Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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