i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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