Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
