I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
