I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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