'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just invented taco cereal.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
