is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
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Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
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If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize