Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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