her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
