i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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