you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
