dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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