mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
