She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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