This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
When did angry sex become our thing?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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