Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize