Small penises have feelings too.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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