Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
