Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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