so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
