Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
