Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
