Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
