She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
