my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
