Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
