yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
