I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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