im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
