He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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