i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
