Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
