So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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