You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
