You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
