sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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