he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
