I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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