Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You made out with two different species that night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
