at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
