After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
