maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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