this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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