Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
