wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
