Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There are leaves in my underwear?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
