I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
