I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
