you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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