You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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