that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
