What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
