I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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