new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
