Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize