just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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