Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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