I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
