My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
